the neverending reminisces of life - kyzd

words oh words :)

2009-11-27T23:15:00.004+08:00

'whether you realize it or not, they work in very different yet similar ways.any sense?'

Howdy people :) How's the hols going? =) oops..wait..no offense to those still having their end of semester tests looming near =P Mine's been okay so far. To be fair, i can't complain. Yeah, i can't complain at all =) Well, it's not gonna be a long one this time round but here goes. There i was listening to songs one night, surfing the net away. One song elapsed another and before i knew it, my whole 'Top 25' Playlist was out. Being the usual repetitive self of mine, i listened to them again. And again, and again. Then it knocked me in the head. Songs are so powerful. The melodies, the meanings, the 'encrypted' messages. They all have a certain effect on us. When you listen to a song, whether u realize it or not, you get 'into' the song. It sways you on and puts you on some mood, the mood of the song. It then echoes into your soul, you listen. And you listen, and then it rings all over again in your head. Now, i said songs were powerful didn't i? Well, songs wouldn't be composed if there weren't any words in the first place. So now, words are powerful. Not only in songs do they make us feel senses of emotions, but in books and all other things we see everyday. In fact, one random word that arrests our eyes, catches our attention could shape how our day ahead would turn out to be, and i daresay, sometimes even the whole week ahead! Yes or no, you do the thinking ;) Everyone's what they believe in anyways =)

Driving down to KL tomorrow morning. Adieu people ;) For those on breaks, enjoy your vacations! and to those having their finals, all the best ;)

Signing out,

kyzd

rainy. rain. raining.

2009-11-23T00:09:00.006+08:00

'when the raindrops never cease'

It's raining again. Yes, again. It's been raining since the semester break started. It's been exactly a week since i left KL. It was raining at the Subang Airport raining when i reached AS. And at this very moment, it's still raining. I can't help but to wonder, with the rain persisting every single day, that not a day had gone by sunny and bright, whether this is all a part of the norm ; whether it's just a part of the monsoon season every year, or it's..because..maybe...oh never mind. We all have our own interpretations. Since apologizing every single time i update the blog (if you'd noticed) wouldn't be such a good idea, i guess i'll just skip that part alright?

So, I've been doing okay. Well, to be honest, i've been better actually. But yeah, life goes on. Now let's go all the way back to the last time i updated my blog. And no, i'm not gonna drag all of it into this post but i'll just sum things up. Firstly, there was the KO-PLN night. Well, i know it's been some time ago, but yeah it's worth mentioning. It was a night when all the scholars in the college who were involved in this (Kurikulum Pelajar Luar-Negara) programme represented their groups in performances and all, just a night of celebrating the end of the programme. For some, it Ko-PLN activities are in the first semester. For the others, it only starts during the second semester. As for mine, it's been an experience worth gaining if you ask me. One thing's for sure, it taught me to never mess with time. Well, how did i even mess with time to start with? It's a long one, so yeah. Well, I was in one of the groups who performed on that night, and yeapm we definitely had fun :) Credits to everyone who performed that night, it was a job well done, not forgetting the spectators who played their part in bringing the house down as well ;) The video's below, so watch if you have the time aight? though it's really noisy, at least there's something =P

After that, there was the end of semester exams (way way after the performances.). Well, my weeks preparing for the exams were very, very 'librarish' if you'd ask me. I mean, i was literally in the library from morning to evening, and most of the time till night. Don't ask me if i studied the whole day, because honestly, i don't know. But one thing's for sure, i actually enjoyed myself in the library. It was kinda like solace in a way. So, no i'm not sick of the library. And again, no, i don't love the library. It's just fine in a very good way. So everyone buckled up and revised, revised, revised and revised and yada yada for the exams. About the exams, there were a little shaky for me to be honest, firstly because my time management during the papers were totally below par. But it's all done and dust now, so yeah, no point regretting or anything. But if there's one thing that i wanna change next semester, it's the hours that i spend studying. Hell, i hope i don't turn into a nerd next semester! heh..

Spent a few days in KL before coming back home as, well it was gonna be a long break anyways. One week into the break, i've actually pretty much done nothing for the past week. I mean, yeah i read novels, the papers (which i DON'T really get to in college =.=) , watched the Gunners, played basketball and all, but still, nothing worth mentioning actually. Oh well, at least i'm sleeping well xD that, i can't complain =P haha..Oh yeah, i'll be heading back to KL at the end of the month. Going to Hong Kong, Macau and then to China for a vacation :) Looking forward to it, though i've only just been to Hong Kong last year xD

Now, more to reflections. Er..how do i put this?..well, as usual, i've done quite a lot of thinking these few days. I mean, not that i don't think much during the normal days, but the holidays really gave me more time to be a lil' more analytical on how i see things. It gives me the chance to actually look into things that i don't even have time for in college. Heck, being analytical and observant is a good thing, but being too analytical, could really bring down the day for you if you don't know where to stop. A living proof - me. Okay, i thought a lot about everlasting beauty. or in other words, eternal bliss/ eternal beauty. Beauty as in the uniqueness in personality, physical or spiritual beauty, and anything that gives one an impression so special that he or she remembers it. Is there such a thing as eternal or everlasting/immortal beauty? Cause as far as i'm concerned, nothing last forever. Yeah, memories could last forever. But living on and on in different minds and hearts could only be considered 'partly immortal' right? Let's put this metaphor in the case of a sunset. It comes. and it goes. And i thought 'so every beauty has a beginning and an inevitable ending. Nothing last forever. We come. We go. End of story.'

But a good friend of mine told me 'Well, it's like the four seasons. There's always an underlying beauty in a fading beauty'

To be honest, yes, it struck me. It sorta put me through another strain of thoughts. Now, what do you guys think? eternal beauty? Yes? No? Well, till now, i can't be sure. But i know, there has to be a partial yes and no in it. That beauty stays alive in some things and in some things, they just fade away and are covered up in the sands of time.

And before i forget, i get a lot of people coming up to me telling me things like, ' What the hell are you talking about in your blog? I don't get you. I've read your post a few times but still, I don't get a thing.' . How do i respond? Well, i'll just smile and be satisfied. and why be satisfied you may wonder? Let's just say, if everything in life was at all straight-forward, then what's the point in living it at all? =) At least i know there's someone out there who thinks the way i do, and for that, once again, thank you er..miss V :) Will be updating more soon people. stay tuned ;)

enjoy :)

adieu,

kyzd

p.s - to those sitting for their end of sem tests soon [you know who you are =)], good luck! and happy hols everyone! cheers :)

'i want the sun back'

.ONE.

2009-10-17T22:03:00.003+08:00

ONE =)

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One...life

One

To that someone who sent me this song, thank you :) After listening to it for a few times, it actually rings over and over again in this head of mine =)

Exams are looming, due dates are coming, but one thing's for sure, we'll all be there someday.

'..of never explaining yourself no matter what, cause those who matter don't need it, and those who don't just won't believe it' =)

signning off,

kyzd

realise it or not, it's your call really.

2009-10-05T16:48:00.002+08:00

It's been a while. And i've been good. So far, it exceeds what i thought of myself. But at times, it all falls apart. A lil' unrelated maybe? I hope i'd know, so i don't just stop and shut down every now and then.

Secondhand Serenade - Your Call

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Tell me what to do, what to see, how to see and how to go from here. thank you.

signning off,

kyzd

sorry.but I'm back. for real.

2009-09-22T01:58:00.003+08:00

'Where the hell have I been?!' That thought screwed my mind the moment it came up. It was exactly what I've been asking myself for the past..what? a few weeks? maybe even months? What was happening to me you ask? Trust me, i didn't know. All i know is my enthusiastic part sunk and vanished into thin air. It was like simple things that happened around me was affecting me.And the worst part is that I never was like that. I was never a pessimist. A bit by bit, as days went by, it got worse. And I just couldn't help it. I was a fool really. A fool of my own making. But i knew it. I knew the cause. I knew what I did wrong, where i went wrong, and when i went wrong. I should've known. Well, everyone and yeah, EVERYONE makes mistakes. Mistakes fill our lives up, whether we like it or not. And no matter what, now, I can look into the mirror and say, 'YEAP. I was foolish. But one can't be foolish for life eh? Everything has a start' =) Once again, some people would get this post more than what the others might. But whatever it is, life goes on. Thank you people and to those special few, you know who you are. Thanks for the knocking =) signning 'in' and off, kyzd "mistakes go a long way in life. and what matters most is not the consequences, but the values we all get from them, however excruciating they might be"

...of limitations, restrictions, and constraints.

2009-09-13T16:27:00.003+08:00

The usual, some things hit us harder than we ever thought they would ; while some things, the other way round. Life's been nothing but the norm i guess, though implications of the things you're doing and also the ones you did seem to haunt u up to your neck at times. But yeah, it's been acceptable really.

Been thinking about some things for the past week. And after a week, i suppose, of disturbances, swings and god knows what else, i got back my senses as to what i was seeking for - the meaning of it. Well, ever had the thought of being superman? or superwoman? Be it Batman, Spiderman or whatever you would wanna call yourself, we all gotta wake up. One word, to me sums it all up. 'Limitations'. In life, personally looking at mine, I could easily find a lot of scenes where I, myself 'think' that i AM actually, a rubber band. Why a rubber band you ask? Well, rubber band - stretchable.

I've always been pushing myself to the limit in whatever i do, till the day that everything came crashing down on me, bearing a cruel reminder that I gotta have my own limitations as well. And I'm sure glad it did. I now realise. More than realise actually, you could say it was contextual with something 'dawning' upon me. Since we're all so well-versed with the fact that life doesn't go our way all the time, or well, maybe most of the time for some, limitations should be something that we familiarise ourselves with. We all have our limitations, no matter what we do. No matter what our aims are, no matter how we all plan to achieve them , or even simply not doing anything and just look at them, there ARE limitations for all those mentioned.

And what i realised most, is that sometimes when you stretch yourself too much, too much that the you actually cross the limit, and then if you aggravate things by 'forcing' you, yourself to sustain the strecthing, you will, one day, i believe break down. It's a just a matter of time. So before you actually do, remember, limitations are what makes us all human. Yeah, we can explore space, we can do this, do that, and at the end of the day, does it make a difference at all.We're still the normal pathetic beings (forgive me) we used to be, and are living it through, day after day. So, that implies how important realising something, someone or anything at all is to us. You'll never know what lies ahead, but just remember, we all have our limitations.

signning off,

kyzd

p.s - to those who don't get what i'm trying to say, I truly apologise. Fret not, you'll get what i mean eventually.

-I, myself regret. Limitations. Being fearless. Does it all come as one?-

"Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. But still, is it ever?"

it rekindles.

2009-09-06T17:26:00.002+08:00

A long weekend. Well, at least longer than usual. A 3-day break shall we say? Not having college on Monday, and only when i thought i'd welcome the respite, i was suprised at how 'unwelcoming' i was to the break. oh well, things happen for a reason, and we all feel things for a reason. so yeah. Life's been pretty much a roller coaster ride these days. The good, the bad and the evil. They all come in packages and yeah, all together, one shot more often than by itself. But it's good. It's all good and a days go by, i'm learning to be a better person =) and yes, i sure need to learn a lot, but time will tell. Will it ever? Cheers =)

There’s a little truth behind every ‘just kidding’, a little curiosity behind every ‘just wondering’, a little knowledge behind every ‘I don’t know’, a little emotion behind every ‘I don’t care’, and a little kick of lie behind the distant eyes of someone saying ‘I don’t love you.’
-stumbled upon this in sin toun's blog. gotta say i love it-

signning off,

kyzd

frustration kills. noticing helps.

2009-08-30T03:56:00.002+08:00

You'd all but put the blame on your senses when you notice things, however minute they might be. Sometimes, it helps. Sometimes, noticing whatever it is that you did could change everything, and yes, everything. Changing everything, of course could mean for good or for worse. We'll never know. Life's predictably unpredictable and it sure does rhythm along with its ups and downs along the way. Fine, you noticed something that at some other time, or even better in someone else's position, was something that you could laugh off, that noticing it in the first place wasn't a big deal at all, and it'd never even the slightest bit bother you . But what if it puts you in the predicament that your dying to get out of? What if it catches you off guard and make you wanna scream your head off? Life's like that they say. And you just have to get along with it and all. Frankly, I'm puzzled. How true is it? Is it worth? Or is it not? Time tells, time heals. But what if time stops doing so? What would be left then? Don't mind me. I'm just freaking off the line right now.Urgh.

signning off,

kyzd

..simplicity really that simple?

2009-08-26T00:21:00.007+08:00

wrong. right. wright?

Satisfied with my revisions for the day, i began to wonder. As i wondered, i thought. and i thought. Life has always been depicted as simple, and simple i thought, was from the way we see it, the way we put ourselves through it and the way we see others through it. it struck me that in order to view 'simplicity' , we go through our thoughts added with much deliberation in assessing what it really means.

After spending a few more minutes, i got myself a stand. And the way i see it, simplicity is achieved through a complexity of thoughts and what more so many other things that need not be mentioned, is simplicity really simple in context? 'Achieving simplicity is deceptively complex as it is a thoughtful process'. Though how hard i try to remain simple in my ways, i know , deep down inside, it's never gonna be that simple to be simple =) oh well, consider that some strings untied =P

signning off,

kyzd

yes i do. but it doesn't matter does it?

2009-08-21T21:53:00.004+08:00

yes. i am frustrated. i am down. deep inside, i feel like dying. as if i can help it. bygones.

sometimes you see it, sometimes you just don't.

2009-08-21T18:01:00.004+08:00

Mid-sem break! This one's welcomed really, especially after the last few weeks literally make me wanna admit that once again : I'm still coping with life..oh well =) Prep for topic tests filled the days that went by and yeah, though it was tiring , it was still memorable at the same time. Especially when u have great people around you to be serious and all quiet at the right times and yet, can go crazy within the span of a few seconds when it matters. =) all of you know who you are right, 2209? : )

College's been fun as always i guess, though at times i really felt like i've had enough of some things that had been happening. Let's just say some things are better left unsaid. and yes, i was disgusted. But people say what they want and it's really up to us whether to let it affect us or not, and after talking to a few close friends about it, I realised how stereotype I was about things. Been there, done that. What can't kill you wouldn't hurt you no more. So yeah, I'm feeling perfectly fine at the moment.

Will be back at AS from tomorrow onwards until the 30th of August. Will be coming back a few days earlier to Subang i guess. As usual, hate the rushing. =) Oh well, since i don't really feel like updating much, I'll be leaving it this way for a while. Maybe the next few days? Who knows? =P

signing off,

kyzd

breakeven. : )

2009-07-31T01:57:00.002+08:00

I'll never forget. I'll never lose faith. And i'll never regret.

The Script - Breakeven

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in

Cos I got time while she got freedom

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok

I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you

What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok

I'm falling to pieces

(One still in love while the other ones leaving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame.

Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains

Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in

Cos I got tI'me while she got freedom

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you

What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok

I'm falling to pieces

(One still in love while the other ones leaving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

I know there's light. I see it, and I'm believing it. =)

'Keeping a secret itself is a secret decision'

2009-07-26T15:21:00.004+08:00

Howdy people :) Firstly, I'm truly sorry for not updating the blog for quite a 'while' xD Been busy with adaptations in life and sort. Well, yeah, I'm already settled in at the International Education Centre a.k.a INTEC in Section 17 of Shah Alam. It's a conducive place to study and all really, with the companion of great people all around, so i'd say the start to college is so far, great =) Let's see, registration took place at Kolej Cendana in Section 6 , Shah Alam , and yeah, in case ur wondering i'll be staying there for a year before moving to Kolej Cemara/Akasia in Section 17 during my 2nd year. First impressions were bleak, honestly. But then , come to think of it now, I actually DO love it a lot ;) Like they say , it's the company that makes the difference rather than the surroundings :)

We got to choose our roommates. And there we were (Chia Soon and me) clueless as to who we wanted as our housemates. Were among the first to check into the apartments and got another 4 other great people as our housemates :D 'There's 2 from Kedah including me , 2 from Penang and another 2 from Sarawak in my apartment'. Yesh, that was my usual answer when people assked me about my housemates. Well, almost a month had passed since then, and frankly, I'm feeling freaking lucky to get such great roomies xD Firstly, Mok Zi Hong and Bernard Poh Yi Zhe from Chung Ling High , Penang , two great people =) Also, Dickson Tan Shih Peng and Tiong Chang Hwa from Sarawak =) Last but not least, all the way to college from high school, Ooi Chia Soon xD The 6 of us got along really well and now it's like so comfortable to be in the same apartment! Oh well, life and it's magic ;)

At INTEC, scholars are divided into a few groups namely A-Level Medicine (ALM) , A-Level German (ALG) , A-Level UK (ALUK) , Russian Programme , Korean Programme , Japan Programme , Ausmat (AUSMAT) , Middle East Programme (MEP) and American Degree Foundation Programme (ADFP). As for me, I'm in no other than ALM. Usually, majority of the scholars are in ALM. But, we're all in INTEC together, so no boundaries aite? ;) This year's batch is labelled as ALM 10, signifying the tenth batch of A-Level Medicine students. As for the segregation of classes, there are quite and we are all separated according to our respective destinations. As for me , I'm happily in 10M7 =) Everyone's been great so far, helping one another as we go along. Of course, not forgetting great friends from other classes as well =) Togetherness is virtue =P

Moving on to the facilities, INTEC is actually a pretty decent preparatory college. For instance, it's library. I personally don't mind spending my weeks in there as its big and so new =P Okay okay, i admit. I've been mugging books in the library for weeks now and i'm enjoying it xD Oh yeah, was selected to participate in the INTEC Inter Programme Games (INPRO). Represented ALM in basketball and yeah after days of night training , I'd say i had fun =) We missed the semis by a point difference, but all I gotta say is that I had fun with my team mates and that's what matters the most to me ;) As for now, I'm back home for a mid-sem break which was brought forward due to the spreading of the A(H1N1) at the main campus. Will be back in college at the end of the week :) Nothing to worry about really ;)

I guess that's about it for now. Gotta run off to my assignments now =P To everyone out there, take care aite?

signing off,

kyzd

P.S - It feels good to be home xD

it matters. it doesn't. it matters. does it?

2009-06-11T15:27:00.006+08:00

'some memories were just meant to remain as they are'

It was 7pm, stopped, went down from the car, *snaps*. Done. And the photo remains to date. Well, it was taken quite some time back when i was in Form 4. I remembered feeling miserable at the time i took the picture. I was confused, mixed up , agitated. Say what you want , i'd have to admit, i wasn't really adapting well to the changes in Form 4. Certain things became different, more subjects to study (silly, i know =P) and all those petty issues that were bogging my mind were..yes..disturbing. And after looking at this picture that i took , i felt better. Somehow, looking at it reminds me that there's always hope in life. Hell, life's intrinsically made of hope in the first place :) without hope, would there be life? go figure :) Funny sometimes how pictures or even distant memories sometimes trigger this inner-panacea thing in our mind that spurs us on just the moment we need it. Funny, nevertheless true.

I've been rather busy preparing to go to International Education Centre (INTEC) in Shah Alam on the 28th of June. I'll be registering for A-Levels and frankly, i'm really looking forward to it. To meet new people, to rise up to the challenge of comprehending the syllabus, to engage in mind-broadening activities and not to forget, to meet up with some PKTR-ians who will be registering there as well xD I'll be at INTEC for 2 years and will hopefully be continuing tertiary life at International Medical University (IMU) for 2.5 years to complete my pre-clinical. The final 2.5 years after that , which would obviously be the clinical years would be done in either the UK , Australia , New Zealand , Canada or Ireland. It all depends on the results and everything. But oh well, that's a long way to go , and ahead, but yet, i'll gear myself up and be ready xD

Speaking bout getting ready for the challenges to come, there I was again, balancing the part and parcel in life. As always,'life's predictably unpredictable' :P When it doesn't come rolling our way, we just have to roll with IT. Adapting's a part of life and sometimes, we can all say is, 'come on..it can't be that hard. I'll just adapt'. Yeah, adapt. Everyone can say that. But how many do it? or how many of us exactly that are able to adapt sufficiently well?? Personally, it's a matter of how we look at it, or how we look at life, to generalise it in a way. And no matter how we try to adapt sometimes, i just can't seem to make life around us any easier to comprehend. So what then? I'd say keep on trying!! Remember, courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes, courage can be the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'i'll try again tomorrow'. ;) So why not u say? Just keep going, and we'll all eventually get there somehow :)

If u feel inferior to others around you , do something to lessen the feeling. If ur suffering from some sort of depression , try knocking urself out of it by smiling more and thinking bout the positives in life because for all you know, all it takes for you to be content sometimes, is by looking back at how far you've made it in life, and more importantly, how close you are to ruining it with ur pessimism. worth it? You do the math :) But still, I'd say think about this first will ya? No matter who you are, what you do , be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind :)

Oh well, guess i'll have to stop all this string of thoughts about life for a while. Having a lot on my mind in terms or preparing for INTEC and all, but yeah, i'll survive xD To all of those reading, think a lil' about what i've said, look into a mirror and ask urself a simple question when you have the time, 'am I who I am?' When you can smile at urself and be sure of ur answer, then yes, ur on track =)

signing off,

kyzd

p.s - this post is dedicated to people I know that are facing issues in life no matter how petty or big they might seem. Bear in mind, when you feel hopeless, just remember that life's made of hope :)

personality survey.

2009-06-09T00:56:00.001+08:00

Found the results of the quiz i took to be quite interesting in a sense, though i wouldn't wanna comment about the accuracy. oh well xD

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

signing off,

kyzd

'Remember tonight for it is the beginning of always' =)

2009-05-17T14:23:00.007+08:00

'only when i thought the purpose was gone'

It's not what I do. I don't start posts with a picture , or a quote or anything other than just plain words, but somehow i felt, 'it has to be different. and yes , it HAD to be' xD (Took the picture using my phone, just when i was wondering about purposes in life and yada yada)

Okay , back to what i've actually been up to. Well, firstly i would like to thank everyone for their wishes =) and to those wondering what in the world i was actually referring to, it's PSD scholarship that i got - Medicine overseas : ) You know, when u just realise how important people around you, things around you , or even simple things that happened to you are and how they actually bring out the very best in you? I'm sure i did. I'd never be able to get a scholarship or anything without the support and guidance from everyone, from my mum and my elder sis especially. They were the ones who really supported me through the hard times that i had to go through. And , of course , my other family members as well ; ) To my pals and buddies, you'll never be forgotten as well. All Collegians (08' batch), my teachers, not forgetting a teacher and also a friend -Cikgu Badrul (for sharing values about life and support) , 5 Omega , PKTR '08/AYTR-ians , you have all been instrumental in everything that i was blessed with and also, what i would be able to achieve in the future =) Ah, before i get more and more thankful and end up creating a LONG post bout thanking everyone, i'd better start off with the updates =P

I'm currently doing nothing other than waiting for the offer letter from PSD to actually find out which country they'll be sending me to to further my studies as well as where they'll be placing me in for me pre-u education. Whatever it is, i'm relieved to say that I can't wait to actually start. I NEED to start studying badly or i'll rot to death =.= But yeah, i've been reading up a lil on some pre-u syllabus just for the fun of it, not sure whether it'll help but oh well, learning is always fun :)

Before it slips through my mind, i would actually like to say something to all those who were did not manage to get a scholarship , be it from PSD , MARA , Khazanah , Petronas , Sime Darby etc. etc. Well, this is just the way i see it, well, if u get a scholarship , then fine. But if u don't get one, it's fine as well. It's NOT the end of the world. I daresay that all the hardwork u people out there had put in will make a difference in the future. It may not be now, but trust me , sometimes all you have to do is just to have a lil faith and it'll all fall into place later on. I know some might not agree on me saying this, but those who got scholarships just got a smoother path compared to those who didn't. And i repeat, it's NOT the end of the world! To those that did not manage to secure a scholarship, you know what? the path in front of you might be rougher compared to those who got a scholarship, but the point is, u could have an even more 'polished' ending or some sort than them. Scholarships are something, but NO , their not everything. So buckle up, have a lil faith and strive again for what you want to achieve is life , for what you give is the thing that matters most. Those who got the scholarships, do honour them as you got a chance that everyone's yearning for. Make the best outta what you got and make it worthwhile. I'll make sure that I will.

Now, back to reality. I've been to Penang a few times since the end of PKTR for visitings and all. Well, never loved it more :) Once i get my offer letter, i'll start to complete the forms and whatever it is that is required to be done. Then, I'll most probably be going down to KL to get some things done and all. Might wanna have a look at the place i'll be studying in and I need to do some shopping! badly! (laptop sutf..etc. etc.) oh well, then i'll be hoping for another visit to Penang before i go down to KL for real to study. Somehow, i just wanna go down to Penang again before anything else comes on.

Oh yeah, i went to school the other day. Just to look around and visit the teachers. It still felt as good as ever. I loved my alma mater and i'd never stop feeling that way =) To drive through the canopy of trees into the main entrance of the school , it was just as good as the old times, the mornings when i went to school as usual. Well, there was nothing unusual about the visit. Went around school visiting and then went to see teachers who were ever so nice. Saw the new Form 6 students who looked, more of in a daze then feeling excited. Oh well , i understand =P Stayed in school until lunch time and decided to go home after that.

Well, i guess i'll stop here for the moment. Have things on my mind that i need to contemplate and deal with ; ) And here are just two quotes that i've been pondering a lot about, probably the most inspiring ones (to me) i'd seen in a while : )

'Remember tonight for it is the beginning of always'

- Dante

'to let Life happen to you is irresponsibility, but to create your day is your divine right'

oh well, take care people xD

Signing off,

kyzd

Program Kepimpinan Tun Razak (PKTR) 08' - A Life Defining Moment

2009-04-24T13:48:00.004+08:00

First and foremost, i'm sorry for the long silence. Have been pretty busy with things to be done and lotsa other errands as well. I won't elaborate much on that. Well, i just came back from a leadership programme held in KL and Negeri Sembilan . It was no other than Program Kepimpinan Tun Razak 2008, otherwise also known as PKTR 08' =) There were 48 of us from all corners of Malaysia! I have to admit, i was a lil' skeptical about the camp in the beginning. But as time flew , passing us with swiftness that we didn't even notice in our busi-ness, i have a confession to make. It IS the best programme i have ever attended and i daresay there will be no other programme better than it in most senses.

Well, i'm not going to say much about the activities and the things the participants went through because most of the bloggers from the camp has already done so =P Plus, we can't really reveal much because we'd be releasing spoilers for the future selected participants! xD I would like to quote what Abang Ayaz said, 'We, the facilitators will just help and assist if needed along the programme. This is YOUR programme, you do what you want with it, and how much u get from this camp, whether or not it will be something really significant is entirely up to all of you. The facilitators are just 'pemudah cara' (s)'

The programme was about 16 days and every single day, i'd say i learnt so many new things throughout the whole thing. Let's just say some perspective changes, and some just get justified, and we all become stronger in a sense =) The most significant thing to me in the programme is that i met so many great and interesting people and , by using 'interesting' i really mean it. It's like i never knew there were so much that we could actually learn from others and how much others can learn as well from us. It was just fantastic being there in the group. The togetherness, everything about it was simply undescribable really. We were not just mere participants in PKTR , we ARE PKTR =) and yes, now , we're in AYTR as well xD [Alumni Yayasan Tun Razak]

I would say i was really satisfied at the end of the programme. Yeah, there were tears and everything when we had to all part and go out separate ways. Still, the bond between us remain strong and i have faith in each and every one of you that we'd be united for a very very long time to come ;D Thing is, everytime i think about the memoirs we all shared back in PKTR 08' , i sorta switch to emo mode and yeah, it feels horrid. and not to mention, ROTTEN! but still, i'll never regret a single thing i did in the camp. But ofcourse, turning back time would be a very tempting option for me to reminisce into the past again, experiencing it all over again. I don't mind, not at all. Why would i rite? xD haha..i wouldn't mind if it went on forever =P haha..now, that shows how the post-PKTR syndrome has affected me =S

Oh well, now moving on to messages and dedications, to all 2008 PKTR-ians! We must have a gathering soon aite? People are dying already after the camp xD haha..To the facilitators, u don't know how much each and everyone of you have inspired me =) Abang Ayaz, Abang Sumi, Abang Tengku , Kak Nicol , Kak Sharon , Kak Wei Zhen , Abang Farith , Kak Lee Vee , Kak Sarah , Abang Khairul , Kak Ainul , Eugene and so many of the others i didn't mention, all of you helped in making PKTR 2008 a success =D

Lee Julin, Jaramier Cobrado Joibi , Jasmine , Alicia , Ryner , Nisshan , Ding Lik Suong , Jocinda Wong , Gary Ngai , Tan Yuet Yang , Hanif , Darren , Sin Toun , Bosco , Tarsha , Asha , Candy , Tracey , Baihaqi , Fatin , Adila , Panier , Danny , Yashini , the list goes on and on [everyone in PKTR 08] =) Just so you know, all of you made a difference in my life =)

I'll end this post with the lyrics of 2 songs that we performed on the closing ceremony night at Royale Bintang =) First thing's first, our very own PKTR 2008 'modified song' :

Our version at PKTR...

At The Beginning

We were strangers starting out on a journey,
Never dreaming what we have to go through,
Now here we are, and i'm suddenly standing,
At the beginning with you.

Ku tak tahu apa yang ku lalui,
Tak tersangka hubungan bersama,
Kini ku girang, dengan impian nyata,
Sinila mulanya.

And life is a road that i wanna keep going,
Love is a river a wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road now and forever,
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end i wanna be standing,
At the beginning with you.

Orang asing dalam pengembaraan,
Tak tersangka impian digapai,
Kini ku berdiri, melangkah ke hadapan,
Sinilah mulanya.

And life is a road that i wanna keep going,
Love is a river a wanna keep flowing,
Life is a road now and forever,
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning,
I'll be there when the storm is through,
In the end i wanna be standing,
At the beginning with you.

And then, our very own PKTR 2008 theme song which we composed from a scratch =) :

Wadah Kepimpinan

Tangan menggengam perpaduan,

Hati beritikad penyatuan ,

Kaki melangkaui kemajuan ,

Itulah amalan berkepimpinan .

Benih Kepimpinan disemaikan ,

Kamilah pemimpin masa depan ,

Menggapai wawasan ,

Penjana pembangunan ,

Pemacu kegemilangan .

PKTR ,

Wadah perdana bina kepimpinan ,

Mara melangkah hadapan ,

Menyingkap 'Satu Malaysia' impian bersama ,

Kamilah wacana pembangunan!

Benih Kepimpinan disemaikan ,

Kamilah pemimpin masa depan ,

Menggapai wawasan ,

Penjana pembangunan ,

Pemacu kegemilangan .

PKTR ,

Wadah perdana bina kepimpinan ,

Mara melangkah hadapan ,

Menyingkap 'Satu Malaysia' impian bersama ,

Kamilah wacana pembangunan!

Guess that's all for now =) Pictures coming soon xD take care and regards to all PKTR-ians =) missing all of you loads!! ;D

signing off,

kyzd [PKTR 08'] =)

randomness.panicky.

2009-03-04T02:49:00.006+08:00

[Did i do it right?? was it enough?]

And so, life goes on. I've been thinking a lot bout the 12th. or whatever the friggin' date is when the results would be announced. and yeah, i admit. i'm scared. what's in store for me? will i make it? what's gonna happen? 1119 grade? bio? sej? add math? oh hell!! since the results thingy got into my head, i've had problems sleeping and i'd been bothered by millions of thoughts in my head about it whatever i decide to do.i just wanna say - i'm scared.and. it's not at all melodramatic or anything. it's just saddening to wait like this, losing all ur self-esteem and confidence to god-knows-where! i don't feel like saying anything now. with that said, it'll suffice for now.

signing off,

kyzd

of the results, foundations, pre-meds, MBBS and law?? oh !@#$%!!!

2009-03-01T16:29:00.003+08:00

i'm currently in a daze really. i don't know what i'm doing, what i'm supposed to do. and what i would turn out doing after a month or so. Heck, i don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. okayy, enough crap. So, i went to the STAR edu fair in Penang with Tamim and Megat just yesterday. Met up with chia soon, bond , zi jing and kai seng there. Spoke to them for a lil while and we all went our own ways. Man there was so much to see i was robbed off my focus and attention..

EVENTUALLY, i made it straight to myself, [FOUNDATIONS, PRE-MED, MBBS and LAW]. yeap, that's it. so i went around wandering, speaking to almost all the reps from uni's and colleges who were there. and what did i find out? well, plenty. I'd love to brag all day long about the fair but i'll give it a pass since i'm feeling pretty lazy now xD We went for lunch and then headed to G Hotel for the IDP fair at 3, knowing that it was mainly for ppl who were interested to study in Aussie. And had discussions with the reps again. All in all, yeah u had fun. I got to know so much more, and i mean MUCH more about the applications , procedures, tenures and everything. And one thing's for sure, i know what i wanna do at that moment. I mean, it was all just filtered to a few options.

Thing is ,ppl around kept on reminding me that the SPM results are due soon. which means, seriously, doomsday. It's either i live or i die really. And frankly, my self-esteem and confidence plus faith are stuttering down the ground as time goes on. It's rumored to be on the 12th of March. and yeah. i am friggin' drived up by the news. Not that i'm the only one worrying about the results i'm gonna get, but i just can't help but to think of it all the time.gawd, life's like that i guess..what's gonna happen? what will i be planning to do in the future? i know, but honestly, i still don't know.

see? back.to.the.daze.issue.

sigining off,

kyzd

admitted.reminisced. and yes, I'm sorry xD

2009-02-17T15:21:00.003+08:00

Yes, Yes , Yes. I'm been away for a long time from blogging. It's purely a problem of timing and a lil' bit of procrastination issues in it :P oh well..let's see..it's been quite a while..and frankly, i don't feel like pouring everything out about what had happened for the past 2 months or so. So, here :

I came back from kl on the 2nd of Jan.
Went for an interview on the 3rd for a leadership camp thingy.
rotted at home.
got my license.
went to Penang for CNY =)
back home pilling up on novels xD
went to school twice just to finish some stuff and visit some people.

Well, yeah..that's all i'll say about the missed entries :P Let's see. Now, i'll continue waiting and waiting for march to come and when the results are out , .... doomsday looms =.= might as well enjoy the very last bit of the holidays to the max. I'll try to make myself blog some other time. Gotta go rush over some pages xD

[to those having exams, all the best =) and to those enduring tonnes of homework and getting fed up of it, be patient =D there's still next year xD and to everyone that i've not been in contact with since school ended, I hope ur doing fine out there]

signing off,

kyzd

P.S - I reckon Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, movie's coming out soon and the book's fantastic =) give it a try xD

one word - busy. and no, it's not enough..damn i'm busy XD

2008-12-22T15:50:00.002+08:00

owh..I haven't blogged in 2 days. Been busy with lotsa stuff these few days actually. Hmm..*flashing back*

Oh yeah, now i remember. I went for 4 hours of practical driving on Sunday and another 4 hours today, which completes it all =) only left QTI and JPJ test now. Should be okay i think..at least i hope..haha..Will be doing my QTI early January if nothing comes in between.

I've been sleeping pretty late actually..Since i came back from HK, the earliest i slept was at..3.30 a.m? yeah yeah, something like that i think..Haven't been able to sleep well and I don't have any clue bout what's causing it..haha..oh well..i'll try to sleep early tonight i guess. Last night, went for i went for supper together with Churn, Ooi and his girl. Went to Nasmir and i must say though it was brief, it was kinda fun =) Delivered some food for Ooi's bro and we sent her back to spg.empat. Then, we came back to my house. Ate snacks while watching the Arsenal vs. Liverpool game and i tell you, @#$% Adebayor!! haha..stupid red card..sigh..at least it was a draw in the end =)

Woke up early in the morning again to go for torturing driving lessons today as i've said. I'm gonna organise my things up before i go to KL tomorrow..yeah, going to start journey at 5.30 tomorrow i think. I'll be celebrating Christmas there and not to forget, my sister's birthday on New Year's Day itself. Plan to do some shopping and all, plus meet up with my cousins and uncles =) haha..Should be fun XD

Somehow, i keep getting the feeling that everything will turn 0ut okay eventually for me, but at the same time, my confidence and self-esteem keeps getting lower. and in case ur wondering what i'm talking about, yeah it's about the SPM results and stuff..Will I get what I want?? ah, gonna try to shut it outta my mind for now since there's not gonna be any solution to it =P

Guess i'll stop here. Wanna listen to some songs and sleep for a while..Then i'll do my organising and pack for tomorrow =) oh..btw before i forget, good luck to all those taking their PMR results on the 24th =) or whenever they get it since it's gonna be real soon neways XD haha..Take care people =)

Signing off,

kyzd

P.S - Am so looking forward to Christmas!! XD

ironically weird, but yeah.life goes on.

2008-12-20T01:30:00.002+08:00

First thing's first - i got my phone back alive!! haha..It seemed so serious but it was not much of a problem in the end. The shop guy fixed it for me in no time :) so, cheers to me getting back my phone !! XD haha..Woke up early today and went for breakfast with my mum :) we went somewhere in town where we usually go on Fridays (at times..). The meal was good as usual, nothing really out of the norm except the crowd ordering. Seems that the que for the ordering thingy gets worse during the hols.oh well, it's worth it i guess =)

Went to Sentosa after that to 'cure' my phone and it actually went well ;) Only catch is that I have to reprogramme all the softwares that were in my phone before this as the operating system (OS) has gone crazy..Symbian oh symbian..haha..It's okay i guess as long as I don't lose my phone or anything!! XD Halfway through the reprogramming process now actually.Gonna be really careful so i don't 'accidentally' kill my phone, again..haha..

Back to what i was saying, I went for badminton too actually. Yeah, again. Went to MRC with Ooi and a few ex-collegians for a game and frankly, no i don't really like the place. I kinda prefer ASRC or even 'the usual spot' i always play.haha..We booked the court from 7 to 9 at night, so it was all cool around and we enjoyed ourselves =) I'm planning to have a good rest tomorrow and get ready for 4 hours of practical driving lessons on Sunday and Monday *breathes heavily* It'll turn out okay eventually, but 8 hours in just 2 days? crappy..haha..(and to think that there's still QTI and JPJ test to come?? *faints*)

As much as I hate cramming my to-do list and finish them in such a short time, I have no other choice . I'll be in KL for a week or maybe even 2 after this. Definitely going there before Christmas cause i'll be celebrating it there =) Kinda looking forward to it but still, i'd be missing so fun back home in AS..Well, I guess I'll pass on talking bout it.

Christmas seems so special every year. I just love it and honestly, ...oh nevermind..it's not something i wanna talk about in public anyways.I guess i'll stop here. I just hope this year's Christmas would be as special too..sigh..Gotta rest earlier tonight, not that it's too late..but..ah..i don't feel like typing anymore tonight..

Adios people.

Signing off,

kyzd

P.S - I hope things would turn out the way i want it to, but it's simply impossible. I'll leave it to time then.I'm just so full with conflicts.

i miss my phone already =(

2008-12-19T00:35:00.004+08:00

Crap!! That's what i'd say if u asked me bout today. Well, it wasn't all crappy actually. Woke up a lil late at 1 in the afternoon, and it was great..haven't done that in like ages :) Went out for a lil' while after lunch just to walk around in AS Mall...Came back after a while too actually cos there wasn't much to see..haha..I actually had body aches all over cause i've been stretching myself to the limit working out these few days..And to think that i'd probably be playing badminton again tomorrow..haha..god knows XD

So..after having dinner with my mum, i decided that i'd continue my so far futile efforts in updating my phone with the latest v30. firmware from Nokia, been trying since the last few days.The phone always goes crazy during the update process, which is mainly why the process eventually collapses..so this one 'lucky' and u could say its been the umpteenth time of me trying to update my phone, something worse happened..

As i'd expected, the updating process failed, yet again. This time , i couldn't even switch on my phone anymore =.= i tried so many ways of formatting and resetting my phone but everything didn't work. I'm actually full with remorse now of even having the intention to update my phone in the first place!!! sigh..shit happens..and this time it really did..at a very bad time, when i'm having so much things to do on my hands..

I'm using my mum's old phone now, the Sony Ericsson which is quite decent actually..not that old lar..but still..i LOVE my phone much much more than anything else..sigh..CRAP CRAP CRAP!! phew..enough's enough..It's happened, so i'll just wait and see how i'll settle it..Might wanna go over to the shop tomorrow to see what options I have..Hopefully it wouldn't involve any sending of my phone to the service centre which would take a solid 2 weeks! I'll be dead by then =(

Oh yeah, enough bout the phone issue. I got an email from the Yayasan Tun Abdul Razak Foundation. Asking me to be present for an interview for a leadership programme in kay elle in January on the 3rd of Jan itself. It's at the Arkib Negara cawangan Kedah for chosen ones from Kedah and Perlis.There'll be 6 candidates all together so hopefully i'll pass through :)

Just came back a while ago from Gemilang actually. Had supper with some ex-Collegians just to catch about old stuff and too see how their doing. It was fun, with all the laughing and stories we shared bout everything happening in their lives. (note: their 7 years older than I am, so it'll be weird for me to share any life stories with them..) haha..so i just listened and talked along ;) Neways, i'm so tired right now.Feel like fainting. haha..oh well, guess i'll just stop here for today. Catch u people later XD

Signing off,

kyzd

P.S - I'm praying frantically to the 'God Of Phones" if there's one so that my phone will wake up from it's comma!! God bless my phone XD

trials and tribulations they say? will it ever end, will it not? frankly, i don't know.

2008-12-17T10:33:00.001+08:00

I feel much better today after having a good rest last night. To tell u the truth, i've not felt as tired as yesterday for quite a while. No, hold on. I've felt more tired than that preparing for SPM. It's just that physical exertion and the fatigue and mental strain that comes with it satisfy me at times ;) times when i don't have anything i really need to do =)

I'm not sure about any plans i have today. I'll be heading to ASRC later in the afternoon for another game of badminton and meet-up with Nic, Churn and Chia Yang plus a few others ( Ooi!!).haha..It'd be fun and for that i'm sure of it XD Not really sure whether we'll be going out for any gatherings or not tonight. We'll see..

Okay, enough of crapping. I've been thinking for quite some time about something actually.Err..here goes :

You know how it feels when anyone complains about the pain they feel and the stark reality they have to go through in the process of getting or even, losing something or someone? Whatever it is, the point there which strikes me is : why do we have to go through so much to get something? I'm not trying to pose any act of immaturity here but i'm sure all of u have heard of the saying, 'no pain, no gain" right? It's really common and..ah, hell with the sayings..

So what if i wanna gain something without having to feel any pain?? and so what if i choose any easy way to achieve whatever i wanna achieve and suffer no loss or pain at all?? That thought keeps on hovering in my head and finally, i've come up with an understanding of my own - something that would just shut the problem up, permanently i hope. I've set my mind on it, and yeah, i'm gonna give it all for it : i'm determined XD

All i can say is God is fair and with everything u get, it's gonna be another thing that u lose..I would say it's pretty much like the economy nowadays :

The economy flops - global financial downfall - the occurence of the Tiger year or something whereby economist predicts a slump in share markets be it Wall Street, BSKL or whatever it's name is.
For example, in our country, the prices of gasoline surges up and then comes down. Foodstuff and other materials on the other hand, keeps on going up and down too.
You see, their relatively complementing each other, whereby when the petrol prices goes up, so does the foodstuff and vice versa, plus other things come down to accomodate the gains and losses caused.
In short, we gain something, and we lose some other things at the same time.

I apologise if the metaphor is pretty out of context but i'm currently in such a state of mind where i'd try to look at things from a complex and sophisticated kinda perpective. Maybe i should try to be simpler in that manner?? I don't know. Now, i'll have another contradiction to think about for a few days ahead..lol..

Neways, gotta go settle my stuff now.Catch u people later then ;) Take some time and give it a thought, it might help, might not, who cares? XD

signing off,

kyzd

finally, a day out of the 'norm' =)

2008-12-17T01:14:00.003+08:00

i'm very tired today, but it was worth it.Haven't had so much fun in quite some time XD Honestly, no. I don't feel like blogging or anything..too tired from all that i've done today. Badminton + Basketball + PS 2 + compilations + a lil' bit of reading and much more = FAMISHED. Enough said =)

Signing off,

kyzd

P.S - i'll be blogging more tomorrow i hope =P

and the Gunners flop again...will it ever end??

2008-12-16T00:36:00.005+08:00

A picture of Walt Disney's Castle i took at the HK Disneyland. It shocked me that it actually cost 300,000 HK Dollars or RM150,000!! LOL =)

'Victoria Concordia Crescit". And yes, the motto speaks for itself, 'Victory, or in other words, success through harmony'. For all of u still wondering about the origin of the Latin phrase i've just mentioned, look no further. Some might already know. Some might be unbelievably oblivious to what it even means. Oh well, it's actually the motto of Arsenal Football Club, a.k.a , The Gunners. As much as i hate studying history before SPM, i wouldn't wanna crap any longer about the history of this favourite soccer team of mine XD

This year's been a somewhat weird year for the Gunners. First, they started out brightly with lotsa people saying that their finally gonna end their silverware drought years since the year of the 'Invincibles'. Gunner fans were given so much hope, but now, their beloved team lies 5th in the Barclays Premier League table, which i would regard , from the perspective of one of the biggest football club in the world, TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!

I just can't help myself but to frut and stret about the inconsistency of the team nowadays. They lose to Hull, Stoke City, Fulham, and then out of nowhere, they topple Man. United and even Chelsea. What a series of events to follow..hmph..oh nevermind, think i'll just stop the crap about Arsenal. Before that, i really hope that they'll turn things around and topple Liverpool next Sunday =) *and he braces himself and his team* (bwahaha..)

Back to reality, i could best describe today as another 'normal' one for me. Frankly, nothing much happened today. I kinda filled my time reading magazines, articles i'd missed and surfing the net. Oh yeah, I also INDULGED myself into playing Final Fantasy XII =) , which i really did enjoy XD haha..so much for not going to really touch the PS 2 after SPM...lol..

By the way, the updates i tried to install on my phone failed, due to some error with the connection cables.Gonna try to explore and fix it myself tomorrow i think ;D Really want the latest firmware update from Nokia thingy cause they'll be less bugs and less lag with the phone, as well as extended talktime, music playing time and etc..Hopefully, i'd be able to do it.haha..doubt it though..lol..

Let's see, if everything goes as planned, i'll be going to kay elle on before Christmas to celebrate it there. Will be there for New Year as well and this year i DON'T NEED to worry about getting back home before school reopens!! =) hahaha...(sorry for bragging bout this..but i just LOVE the fact that i don't have to go to school nemore XD ) I'll be going for some exhibition at the Stadium Merdeka or something with my cousins and uncles. There'll be some foreign cars thingy there..more details about the exhibition can be acquired at Gurney Plaza ;) Whoever's going just pm me on my msn aite? Maybe we could meet up and have a drink of something XD

Anyway, think i just leave it here for today. Gotta go finish up some work i've left late..haha..To everyone having a vacation or going anywhere, have a safe journey and enjoy ur holidays ;) oh..happy coming back Churn, Nic and Chia Yang =) see you guys soon X)

P.S - Gunner forever XD

signing off,

kyzd

another typical day, kicking boredom out of it.

2008-12-14T20:53:00.002+08:00

Today? Hmmm...I'd say it's been another typical day where life moves on with me in front of the computer for almost the whole day X) I've been updating my iPod, iTunes, arranging the folders and stuff on my pc itself and most importantly, updating the new v31. firmware released by Nokia Corporations on my Nokia N95 =) It's been quite a while since i'd even have the time to update the firmware and explore a little on my 'symbian-software-craze" =) haha..well, let's just say i have a lil' of a kick when it comes to techies and gadgeteries X)

Moving on, I've also been playing Final Fantasy XII all over again since i've forgotten the storyline to the part of the game when i last played it way way before SPM! haha..so since i'll be having lotsa time, i guess i'll just try to finish the game, again =)

Was supposed to be going to Langkawi this 18th but had the trip cancelled cause there's not really any slightest feeling of tempt or provocation in me to go there..haha..so, i think i'd rather stay at home to finish up on my personal errands (computers, books and stuff..) and to try to complete as much as i can for my license thingy. Darn the agonisingly SLOW processes!!

Am still working on the updates on my phone actually, trying to get the cracks and stuff to integrate some accelerometer apps. in it =) I don't really feel like crapping much today, so i guess i'll just give it a pass and blog more tomorrow =) Enjoy ur holidays people ;D

signing off,

kyzd

and it all starts from a scratch, again..

2008-12-14T00:58:00.000+08:00

There u go again, it's the first post of another 'new' blog of mine. I've actually been blogging for a while now but since it's pretty common that i'd up NOT blogging everytime i log into my xanga, i decided to just give it a switch..oh well, life's crappy neways.

Firstly, life after SPM has been pretty okay.I keep feeling so weird that there's not much to do nowadays.It's like everything has just gone away - the pressured, positive mentality, the alertness, the eveready inspirational adrenaline pump of some sort, and all those mindsets before SPM. it's all gone.I'd be stupid if I even thought of finding it again, but yeah..i did try..To no avail i would say, i gave up.I'll just let nature take it's path and see where it leads me i guess..

My vacation with my family in Hong Kong was as pleasant as i expected it to be.In Hong Kong, i actually thought about a lot of things..my favourite quote : 'how things revolve around us, or how we revolve around those things itself, which leads to the life we all have" . That particular quote actually got stuck in my head practically the whole time i was in HK..Related it to lotsa things happening around me as well as in the lives of other, but then i found no answers whatsoever that seemed a satisfactory to the questions relating to that quote plaguing my mind all this while..well, life's a b**** neways..

Usually, i prefer to start a blog or whatever it is i'm working on just with a short note.But this time's a total turnaround i think. I have loads of things i wanna blog about but there's just no endings to how i want to actually express them out..i think i'm just having another dilemma about personality issues again, the very same thing that bothered me before SPM! LOL..i'll just opt for the choice i've been preferring to anything else lately - leave it and see how it goes.

Moving on to something a lil' more serious, does any of u know how it feels when u really have the passion to do something but ur not sure whether u'd be able to do it?? or whether anything outta ur aim would just come and distract u from the road ur actually supposed to take in life?? i'll just keep that in my head for a while..haha..here's the summary of this thingy bothering me ;

I've been really passionate about become a medicine practitioner since i was young , since 5 years old i think. As naive as i was back then, that 'childhood ambition of mine got serious as time passed'.
I tried to excel in everything i do, applying pressure to myself most of the time when it matters just to pave a way for me to realise my dream.
Now, when i'm older , i realise that things in life doesn't always go ur way - (the metaphor on having ups and downs in life? i'll just crap that outta context for now..)
Due to some 'unforseen' circumstances (eg. horrible competition or maybe a sense of unfairness, etc.) , i may not be able to do medicine in university or anything even close to that.For those people around me, u understand what i mean.
Then, i got some Petronas interview for a Civil Engineering scholarship although i didn't apply for it.It caught me off guard and i was literally 'separated' into 2 halves, one that wanted to go, and one that did NOT.
What if i don't get the chance to get any scholarships for medicine cause i end up screwing my SPM results??! where do i go from here? should i opt for passion or just some mere opportunity that comes my way??
In the end , i rejected it, not knowing what got me the courage to do it since i'm not really confident i'll be able to get a scholarship in anything for myself when the results are announced..
and then, it all comes in my mind and get stuck in it again - whether i made the right choice? or did i not?? I DON'T HAVE A CLUE.

I guess that's just me for to leave it there as i don't think i'm able to do anything at all about it for NOW. Think i've crapped all i want for the first post. There's definitely more to come soon ;) for those reading this, thanks a lot =)

P.S - i just realised how much i missed blogging XD

Signing off,

kyzd