rainy. rain. raining.

'when the raindrops never cease'

It's raining again. Yes, again. It's been raining since the semester break started. It's been exactly a week since i left KL. It was raining at the Subang Airport raining when i reached AS. And at this very moment, it's still raining. I can't help but to wonder, with the rain persisting every single day, that not a day had gone by sunny and bright, whether this is all a part of the norm ; whether it's just a part of the monsoon season every year, or it's..because..maybe...oh never mind. We all have our own interpretations. Since apologizing every single time i update the blog (if you'd noticed) wouldn't be such a good idea, i guess i'll just skip that part alright?

So, I've been doing okay. Well, to be honest, i've been better actually. But yeah, life goes on. Now let's go all the way back to the last time i updated my blog. And no, i'm not gonna drag all of it into this post but i'll just sum things up. Firstly, there was the KO-PLN night. Well, i know it's been some time ago, but yeah it's worth mentioning. It was a night when all the scholars in the college who were involved in this (Kurikulum Pelajar Luar-Negara) programme represented their groups in performances and all, just a night of celebrating the end of the programme. For some, it Ko-PLN activities are in the first semester. For the others, it only starts during the second semester. As for mine, it's been an experience worth gaining if you ask me. One thing's for sure, it taught me to never mess with time. Well, how did i even mess with time to start with? It's a long one, so yeah. Well, I was in one of the groups who performed on that night, and yeapm we definitely had fun :) Credits to everyone who performed that night, it was a job well done, not forgetting the spectators who played their part in bringing the house down as well ;) The video's below, so watch if you have the time aight? though it's really noisy, at least there's something =P

After that, there was the end of semester exams (way way after the performances.). Well, my weeks preparing for the exams were very, very 'librarish' if you'd ask me. I mean, i was literally in the library from morning to evening, and most of the time till night. Don't ask me if i studied the whole day, because honestly, i don't know. But one thing's for sure, i actually enjoyed myself in the library. It was kinda like solace in a way. So, no i'm not sick of the library. And again, no, i don't love the library. It's just fine in a very good way. So everyone buckled up and revised, revised, revised and revised and yada yada for the exams. About the exams, there were a little shaky for me to be honest, firstly because my time management during the papers were totally below par. But it's all done and dust now, so yeah, no point regretting or anything. But if there's one thing that i wanna change next semester, it's the hours that i spend studying. Hell, i hope i don't turn into a nerd next semester! heh..

Spent a few days in KL before coming back home as, well it was gonna be a long break anyways. One week into the break, i've actually pretty much done nothing for the past week. I mean, yeah i read novels, the papers (which i DON'T really get to in college =.=) , watched the Gunners, played basketball and all, but still, nothing worth mentioning actually. Oh well, at least i'm sleeping well xD that, i can't complain =P haha..Oh yeah, i'll be heading back to KL at the end of the month. Going to Hong Kong, Macau and then to China for a vacation :) Looking forward to it, though i've only just been to Hong Kong last year xD

Now, more to reflections. Er..how do i put this?..well, as usual, i've done quite a lot of thinking these few days. I mean, not that i don't think much during the normal days, but the holidays really gave me more time to be a lil' more analytical on how i see things. It gives me the chance to actually look into things that i don't even have time for in college. Heck, being analytical and observant is a good thing, but being too analytical, could really bring down the day for you if you don't know where to stop. A living proof - me. Okay, i thought a lot about everlasting beauty. or in other words, eternal bliss/ eternal beauty. Beauty as in the uniqueness in personality, physical or spiritual beauty, and anything that gives one an impression so special that he or she remembers it. Is there such a thing as eternal or everlasting/immortal beauty? Cause as far as i'm concerned, nothing last forever. Yeah, memories could last forever. But living on and on in different minds and hearts could only be considered 'partly immortal' right? Let's put this metaphor in the case of a sunset. It comes. and it goes. And i thought 'so every beauty has a beginning and an inevitable ending. Nothing last forever. We come. We go. End of story.'

But a good friend of mine told me 'Well, it's like the four seasons. There's always an underlying beauty in a fading beauty'

To be honest, yes, it struck me. It sorta put me through another strain of thoughts. Now, what do you guys think? eternal beauty? Yes? No? Well, till now, i can't be sure. But i know, there has to be a partial yes and no in it. That beauty stays alive in some things and in some things, they just fade away and are covered up in the sands of time.

And before i forget, i get a lot of people coming up to me telling me things like, ' What the hell are you talking about in your blog? I don't get you. I've read your post a few times but still, I don't get a thing.' . How do i respond? Well, i'll just smile and be satisfied. and why be satisfied you may wonder? Let's just say, if everything in life was at all straight-forward, then what's the point in living it at all? =) At least i know there's someone out there who thinks the way i do, and for that, once again, thank you er..miss V :) Will be updating more soon people. stay tuned ;)

enjoy :)

adieu,

kyzd

p.s - to those sitting for their end of sem tests soon [you know who you are =)], good luck! and happy hols everyone! cheers :)

'i want the sun back'

it matters. it doesn't. it matters. does it?

'some memories were just meant to remain as they are'

It was 7pm, stopped, went down from the car, *snaps*. Done. And the photo remains to date. Well, it was taken quite some time back when i was in Form 4. I remembered feeling miserable at the time i took the picture. I was confused, mixed up , agitated. Say what you want , i'd have to admit, i wasn't really adapting well to the changes in Form 4. Certain things became different, more subjects to study (silly, i know =P) and all those petty issues that were bogging my mind were..yes..disturbing. And after looking at this picture that i took , i felt better. Somehow, looking at it reminds me that there's always hope in life. Hell, life's intrinsically made of hope in the first place :) without hope, would there be life? go figure :) Funny sometimes how pictures or even distant memories sometimes trigger this inner-panacea thing in our mind that spurs us on just the moment we need it. Funny, nevertheless true.

I've been rather busy preparing to go to International Education Centre (INTEC) in Shah Alam on the 28th of June. I'll be registering for A-Levels and frankly, i'm really looking forward to it. To meet new people, to rise up to the challenge of comprehending the syllabus, to engage in mind-broadening activities and not to forget, to meet up with some PKTR-ians who will be registering there as well xD I'll be at INTEC for 2 years and will hopefully be continuing tertiary life at International Medical University (IMU) for 2.5 years to complete my pre-clinical. The final 2.5 years after that , which would obviously be the clinical years would be done in either the UK , Australia , New Zealand , Canada or Ireland. It all depends on the results and everything. But oh well, that's a long way to go , and ahead, but yet, i'll gear myself up and be ready xD

Speaking bout getting ready for the challenges to come, there I was again, balancing the part and parcel in life. As always,'life's predictably unpredictable' :P When it doesn't come rolling our way, we just have to roll with IT.  Adapting's a part of life and sometimes, we can all say is, 'come on..it can't be that hard. I'll just adapt'. Yeah, adapt. Everyone can say that. But how many do it? or how many of us exactly that are able to adapt sufficiently well?? Personally, it's a matter of how we look at it, or how we look at life, to generalise it in a way. And no matter how we try to adapt sometimes, i just can't seem to make life around us any easier to comprehend. So what then? I'd say keep on trying!! Remember, courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes, courage can be the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'i'll try again tomorrow'. ;) So why not u say? Just keep going, and we'll all eventually get there somehow :)

If u feel inferior to others around you , do something to lessen the feeling. If ur suffering from some sort of depression , try knocking urself out of it by smiling more and thinking bout the positives in life because for all you know, all it takes for you to be content sometimes, is by looking back at how far you've made it in life, and more importantly, how close you are to ruining it with ur pessimism. worth it? You do the math :) But still, I'd say think about this first will ya? No matter who you are, what you do , be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind :)

Oh well, guess i'll have to stop all this string of thoughts about life for a while. Having a lot on my mind in terms or preparing for INTEC and all, but yeah, i'll survive xD To all of those reading, think a lil'  about what i've said, look into a mirror and ask urself a simple question when you have the time, 'am I who I am?' When you can smile at urself and be sure of ur answer, then yes, ur on track =)

signing off,

kyzd

p.s - this post is dedicated to people I know that are facing issues in life no matter how petty or big they might seem. Bear in mind, when you feel hopeless, just remember that life's made of hope :)