breakeven. : )

I'll never forget. I'll never lose faith. And i'll never regret.

The Script - Breakeven

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in

Cos I got time while she got freedom

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok

I'm falling to pieces

I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you

What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok

I'm falling to pieces

I'm falling to pieces

(One still in love while the other ones leaving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame.

Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains

Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in

Cos I got tI'me while she got freedom

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you

What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok

I'm falling to pieces

I'm falling to pieces

(One still in love while the other ones leaving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

I know there's light. I see it, and I'm believing it. =)

'Keeping a secret itself is a secret decision'

Howdy people :) Firstly, I'm truly sorry for not updating the blog for quite a 'while' xD Been busy with adaptations in life and sort. Well, yeah, I'm already settled in at the International Education Centre a.k.a INTEC in Section 17 of Shah Alam. It's a conducive place to study and all really, with the companion of great people all around, so i'd say the start to college is so far, great =) Let's see, registration took place at Kolej Cendana in Section 6 , Shah Alam , and yeah, in case ur wondering i'll be staying there for a year before moving to Kolej Cemara/Akasia in Section 17 during my 2nd year. First impressions were bleak, honestly. But then , come to think of it now, I actually DO love it a lot ;) Like they say , it's the company that makes the difference rather than the surroundings :)

We got to choose our roommates. And there we were (Chia Soon and me) clueless as to who we wanted as our housemates. Were among the first to check into the apartments and got another 4 other great people as our housemates :D 'There's 2 from Kedah including me , 2 from Penang and another 2 from Sarawak in my apartment'. Yesh, that was my usual answer when people assked me about my housemates. Well, almost a month had passed since then, and frankly, I'm feeling freaking lucky to get such great roomies xD Firstly, Mok Zi Hong and Bernard Poh Yi Zhe from Chung Ling High , Penang , two great people =) Also, Dickson Tan Shih Peng and Tiong Chang Hwa from Sarawak =) Last but not least, all the way to college from high school, Ooi Chia Soon xD The 6 of us got along really well and now it's like so comfortable to be in the same apartment! Oh well, life and it's magic ;)

At INTEC, scholars are divided into a few groups namely A-Level Medicine (ALM) , A-Level German (ALG) , A-Level UK (ALUK) , Russian Programme , Korean Programme , Japan Programme , Ausmat (AUSMAT) , Middle East Programme (MEP) and American Degree Foundation Programme (ADFP). As for me, I'm in no other than ALM. Usually, majority of the scholars are in ALM. But, we're all in INTEC together, so no boundaries aite? ;) This year's batch is labelled as ALM 10, signifying the tenth batch of A-Level Medicine students. As for the segregation of classes, there are quite and we are all separated according to our respective destinations. As for me , I'm happily in 10M7 =) Everyone's been great so far, helping one another as we go along. Of course, not forgetting great friends from other classes as well =) Togetherness is virtue =P

Moving on to the facilities, INTEC is actually a pretty decent preparatory college. For instance, it's library. I personally don't mind spending my weeks in there as its big and so new =P Okay okay, i admit. I've been mugging books in the library for weeks now and i'm enjoying it xD Oh yeah, was selected to participate in the INTEC Inter Programme Games (INPRO). Represented ALM in basketball and yeah after days of night training , I'd say i had fun =) We missed the semis by a point difference, but all I gotta say is that I had fun with my team mates and that's what matters the most to me ;) As for now, I'm back home for a mid-sem break which was brought forward due to the spreading of the A(H1N1) at the main campus. Will be back in college at the end of the week :) Nothing to worry about really ;)

I guess that's about it for now. Gotta run off to my assignments now =P To everyone out there, take care aite?

signing off,

kyzd

P.S - It feels good to be home xD

it matters. it doesn't. it matters. does it?

'some memories were just meant to remain as they are'

It was 7pm, stopped, went down from the car, *snaps*. Done. And the photo remains to date. Well, it was taken quite some time back when i was in Form 4. I remembered feeling miserable at the time i took the picture. I was confused, mixed up , agitated. Say what you want , i'd have to admit, i wasn't really adapting well to the changes in Form 4. Certain things became different, more subjects to study (silly, i know =P) and all those petty issues that were bogging my mind were..yes..disturbing. And after looking at this picture that i took , i felt better. Somehow, looking at it reminds me that there's always hope in life. Hell, life's intrinsically made of hope in the first place :) without hope, would there be life? go figure :) Funny sometimes how pictures or even distant memories sometimes trigger this inner-panacea thing in our mind that spurs us on just the moment we need it. Funny, nevertheless true.

I've been rather busy preparing to go to International Education Centre (INTEC) in Shah Alam on the 28th of June. I'll be registering for A-Levels and frankly, i'm really looking forward to it. To meet new people, to rise up to the challenge of comprehending the syllabus, to engage in mind-broadening activities and not to forget, to meet up with some PKTR-ians who will be registering there as well xD I'll be at INTEC for 2 years and will hopefully be continuing tertiary life at International Medical University (IMU) for 2.5 years to complete my pre-clinical. The final 2.5 years after that , which would obviously be the clinical years would be done in either the UK , Australia , New Zealand , Canada or Ireland. It all depends on the results and everything. But oh well, that's a long way to go , and ahead, but yet, i'll gear myself up and be ready xD

Speaking bout getting ready for the challenges to come, there I was again, balancing the part and parcel in life. As always,'life's predictably unpredictable' :P When it doesn't come rolling our way, we just have to roll with IT.  Adapting's a part of life and sometimes, we can all say is, 'come on..it can't be that hard. I'll just adapt'. Yeah, adapt. Everyone can say that. But how many do it? or how many of us exactly that are able to adapt sufficiently well?? Personally, it's a matter of how we look at it, or how we look at life, to generalise it in a way. And no matter how we try to adapt sometimes, i just can't seem to make life around us any easier to comprehend. So what then? I'd say keep on trying!! Remember, courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes, courage can be the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'i'll try again tomorrow'. ;) So why not u say? Just keep going, and we'll all eventually get there somehow :)

If u feel inferior to others around you , do something to lessen the feeling. If ur suffering from some sort of depression , try knocking urself out of it by smiling more and thinking bout the positives in life because for all you know, all it takes for you to be content sometimes, is by looking back at how far you've made it in life, and more importantly, how close you are to ruining it with ur pessimism. worth it? You do the math :) But still, I'd say think about this first will ya? No matter who you are, what you do , be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind :)

Oh well, guess i'll have to stop all this string of thoughts about life for a while. Having a lot on my mind in terms or preparing for INTEC and all, but yeah, i'll survive xD To all of those reading, think a lil'  about what i've said, look into a mirror and ask urself a simple question when you have the time, 'am I who I am?' When you can smile at urself and be sure of ur answer, then yes, ur on track =)

signing off,

kyzd

p.s - this post is dedicated to people I know that are facing issues in life no matter how petty or big they might seem. Bear in mind, when you feel hopeless, just remember that life's made of hope :)

personality survey.

Found the results of the quiz i took to be quite interesting in a sense, though i wouldn't wanna comment about the accuracy. oh well xD

 

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

signing off,

kyzd

'Remember tonight for it is the beginning of always' =)

 'only when i thought the purpose was gone'

It's not what I do. I don't start posts with a picture , or a quote or anything other than just plain words, but somehow i felt, 'it has to be different. and yes , it HAD to be' xD (Took the picture using my phone, just when i was wondering about purposes in life and yada yada)

Okay , back to what i've actually been up to. Well, firstly i would like to thank everyone for their wishes =) and to those wondering what in the world i was actually referring to, it's PSD scholarship that i got - Medicine overseas : ) You know, when u just realise how important people around you, things around you , or even simple things that happened to you are and how they actually bring out the very best in you? I'm sure i did. I'd never be able to get a scholarship or anything without the support and guidance from everyone, from my mum and my elder sis especially. They were the ones who really supported me through the hard times that i had to go through. And , of course , my other family members as well ; ) To my pals and buddies, you'll never be forgotten as well. All Collegians (08' batch), my teachers, not forgetting a teacher and also a friend -Cikgu Badrul (for sharing values about life and support) , 5 Omega , PKTR '08/AYTR-ians , you have all been instrumental in everything that i was blessed with and also, what i would be able to achieve in the future =) Ah, before i get more and more thankful and end up creating a LONG post bout thanking everyone, i'd better start off with the updates =P

I'm currently doing nothing other than waiting for the offer letter from PSD to actually find out which country they'll be sending me to to further my studies as well as where they'll be placing me in for me pre-u education.  Whatever it is,  i'm relieved to say that I can't wait to actually start. I NEED to start studying badly or i'll rot to death =.= But yeah, i've been reading up a lil on some pre-u syllabus just for the fun of it, not sure whether it'll help but oh well, learning is always fun :) 

Before it slips through my mind, i would actually like to say something to all those who were did not manage to get a scholarship , be it from PSD , MARA , Khazanah , Petronas , Sime Darby etc. etc. Well, this is just the way i see it, well, if u get a scholarship , then fine. But if u don't get one, it's fine as well. It's NOT the end of the world. I daresay that all the hardwork u people out there had put in will make a difference in the future. It may not be now, but trust me , sometimes all you have to do is just to have a lil faith and it'll all fall into place later on. I know some might not agree on me saying this, but those who got scholarships just got a smoother path compared to those who didn't. And i repeat, it's NOT the end of the world! To those that did not manage to secure a scholarship, you know what? the path in front of you might be rougher compared to those who got a scholarship, but the point is, u could have an even more 'polished' ending or some sort than them. Scholarships are something, but NO , their not everything. So buckle up, have a lil faith and strive again for what you want to achieve is life , for what you give is the thing that matters most. Those who got the scholarships, do honour them as you got a chance that everyone's yearning for. Make the best outta what you got and make it worthwhile. I'll make sure that I will.

Now, back to reality. I've been to Penang a few times since the end of PKTR for visitings and all. Well, never loved it more :) Once i get my offer letter, i'll start to complete the forms and whatever it is that is required to be done. Then, I'll most probably be going down to KL to get some things done and all. Might wanna have a look at the place i'll be studying in and I need to do some shopping! badly! (laptop sutf..etc. etc.) oh well, then i'll be hoping for another visit to Penang before i go down to KL for real to study. Somehow, i just wanna go down to Penang again before anything else comes on.

Oh yeah, i went to school the other day. Just to look around and visit the teachers. It still felt as good as ever. I loved my alma mater and i'd never stop feeling that way =) To drive through the canopy of trees into the main entrance of the school , it was just as good as the old times, the mornings when i went to school as usual. Well, there was nothing unusual about the visit. Went around school visiting and then went to see teachers who were ever so nice. Saw the new Form 6 students who looked, more of in a daze then feeling excited. Oh well , i understand =P Stayed in school until lunch time and decided to go home after that. 

Well, i guess i'll stop here for the moment. Have things on my mind that i need to contemplate and deal with ; ) And here are just two quotes that i've been pondering a lot about, probably the most inspiring ones (to me) i'd seen in a while : )

  

'Remember tonight for it is the beginning of always'

- Dante

  

'to let Life happen to you is irresponsibility, but to create your day is your divine right'

oh well, take care people xD

Signing off,

kyzd